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חייך קודמים לחיי חברך
בבא מציעא סב א

חייך קודמים לחיי חברך,
אבל אינם קודמים למותרות חברך
החפץ חיים, ספר אהבת חסד -
(in cases such as
lavish overspending for a wedding)

Some people know what they want to accomplish in life. They set goals, and they re-evaluate them from time to time.

Among the many other advantages of this procedure, it helps those people determine whether it is wise to fight for a particular issue.

That evaluation makes it much easier to make decisions.

It also helps people control their environment. It helps them determine their own way of life, rather than being forced, cajoled, or pushed into things by others. This feeling of control helps them determine whether to expend the effort that is required in order to win a fight.

On the other hand, some people may feel that their real goals should be limited to surviving the current issue. They will save their strength for battling issues that are important for fulfilling their own agenda.

This consideration is important. Human relations implies various factors:

When the odds are stacked against you, it may be wise to consider your own survival. In many cases, they may be sufficient.

Setting your goals for survival

Thus, instead of fighting for the top position in your place of work, you may feel that it is sufficient to retain your current job. Alternatively, your personal life goals may indicate that it is worth risking your position in order to have the possibility of a better one.

Clearly, these goals are important. Once they have been set, you will be in a position of determining whether you are willing to take specific risks. Those goals will also help you decide your other options in case you lose the battle.

It is not always easy to create your own goals, and they are likely to require the assistance of another individual whom you can trust. That individual should help you determine the goals that are best for you, without trying to promote his own agenda.

The goals that you set with your confidant are comparable to the list that you set for choosing a mate. They must be developed carefully, prioritized, and then followed carefully. It is thus important to consider some guidelines for setting up those goals:

Thus, on those select times when you feel that it is necessary, go ahead and reach for the stars. In those cases, you should be ready to risk failure.

In other cases - when you do not feel that the risk of failure is worth your time and effort, then you may want to accept survival.

Considering the alternative, that's not a bad option after all.

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Keywords: Decisions, Failure, Fight, Goals, Surviving